A new kind of presence for a new kind of leader.
For years, I treated conferences like a sprint. Show up, shake hands, sound smart, stay visible, stay grateful, stay late. I’d come home hoarse, strung out, and a little ashamed of how desperate it all felt.
The truth is: I was trying to be impressive, to be useful, and be everywhere, all at once.
And I left every time feeling like a walking, talking LinkedIn post – curated, hollow, and three days behind on my emails.
Until one day, I stopped performing. I stopped trying to be the most connected person in the room and started focusing on being the most present person in the room. I stopped chasing “leverage” and started looking for alignment.
And I built my own playbook.
One that works for introverts, for deep thinkers, for quiet powerhouses, for the ambitious-but-a-bit-over-it crowd.
So here it is.
The Human Way to Show Up at Conferences
(And Leave Feeling Like Yourself Again)
1. Set your intention
Before you pack your charger and business cards and “networking mindset,” write down this:
- Who do I want to be in this space?
- What do I want to feel when I leave?
Mine used to be: Be impressive. Leave with leads. Now it’s: Be fully myself. Leave with one real connection and a sense of clarity.
That shift alone changed everything.
2. Anchor to one connection a day. That’s it.
Let go of the urge to collect a hundred business cards and focus on one human. The person you keep making eye contact with in the hallway. The woman asking great questions in the back of the room. The person sitting alone at lunch who looks exactly how you feel.
Say hello, and have a real conversation. Then, send a follow up the next day. That’s all.
3. Let the hallway be the main stage.
The best conversations happen in the coffee line. Outside the bathroom. At the edge of the venue where people are checking their flight times and finally exhaling.
Make space for that.
Miss a session if you need to. Take a walk (outside preferable). Ask the person next to you what they really thought of the keynote. Be real, and be you.
4. If you’re speaking, speak like a human.
Speak like someone who’s lived what they’re sharing. Instead of thinking of the ‘hook’ you need, think about speaking from the heart.
The best talks I’ve ever seen didn’t feel like TED, instead they felt like a campfire. Someone saying, “Here’s what I’ve seen. Here’s what I’m still figuring out. Maybe you’ve felt this too?”
That’s how we learn and that’s what we remember.
5. Curate your energy like you curate your schedule.
If you’re trying to attend every session, go to every dinner, join every LinkedIn group, and post daily recaps…you’re going to fry your nervous system.
Instead:
- Block 30 minutes to yourself midday.
- Say no to one thing per day.
- Sit alone when you need to.
- Don’t explain it.
Let silence metabolize what you’re learning as that’s where new insights live.
6. Ditch the hustle mask and keep your humanity.
You’re not there to prove your worth. You’re there to notice, to share, to receive.
And please, for the love of all things real, don’t lead with what you do. Lead with curiosity. Lead with something ordinary. “Have you figured out the coffee situation here yet?” works better than a full-blown elevator pitch.
Because people don’t remember the perfectly rehearsed intro, but they remember the moment you made them feel less alone.
7. Remember: You’re not a brand. You’re a body of work.
Says the personal brand lady. But, honestly, you’re not just a headline or a value proposition. You’re a whole person in motion so let that person lead.
You’ll be surprised what happens when you stop trying to be impressive… and just are.
TL;DR — Your New Conference Playbook
How to leave full, not fried:
Set a clear intention before you go – Decide who you want to be, not just what you want to do.
One real connection per day – Deep beats wide. One honest conversation is more valuable than fifty polite ones.
Skip a session and let something meaningful find you – Leave room for serendipity, that’s where the gold usually hides.
Speak from the heart, not the deck – Whether you’re presenting or just chatting, share something you’ve lived.
Protect your energy — say no early and often – Decline the extra dinner. Skip the panel. Rest when you need to. No one’s keeping score.
Lead with curiosity, not credentials – You’re more than your title. Ask better questions. Be a real person.
Step outside, sip water, and breathe – Get some air. Stretch your legs. Trade your fifth coffee for a glass of water.
Remember who you are under the lanyard – You don’t have to perform to belong. The real you is the most memorable thing in the room.
The point isn’t to be everywhere. The point is to be where it matters. And to be you – the real, fully human version – while you’re there.
That’s the stuff that changes people and that’s the stuff they remember.
And honestly, that’s the kind of conference we all want to attend.
In your corner,
Kate xx
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